#10 Of course I'd review a movie...

The 2004 movie, Johnny English, is by far one of my favorites. The main character, Johnny English, is played by British comedian Rowan Atkinson. In his other work, such as Mr. Bean, he has proved to be very creative when developing his characters' personalities. He is amazing at acting out very awkward moments, which will definitely make you laugh. This movie, in my opinion, is hilarious for a family movie, especially good if you like British comedy.
Johnny English is a man in a secret service-type agency in London. After all of its agents are killed, Johnny, the accident-prone assistant steps up to the job. Many failures in his missions cause officials to not believe him when he discovers that someone is trying to take over the throne. He tries diligently to make ends meet and save his beloved home land.
There wasn't really anything I didn't like about this film. Jokes were skillfully placed throughout the script, especially to the viewers familiar with Mr. Bean. The humor is not for everyone, for example, there are a few poo jokes, but surely there is something for everyone in this movie. Although the beginning is slightly slow, I was thoroughly entertained by it in all aspects.
Compared to his non-verbal character, Mr. Bean, Rowan Atkinson was able to portray more personality and in-depth thoughts. I give this movie 4.5/5 Beans.

#9: "House of Wax"

This movie deserves unending love... PARIS HILTON DIES!!!

Since this clip is so long, I'll only write about the first five minutes.

The first thing that would be an important detail to have in the script is the small gesture in which Carly (in yellow) puts her hand to her nose. This indicates that whatever she and Paige (in blue) are walking towards is ominous and potentially dangerous.

I also think that it's important that Carly fidgets and squirms in the pit of roadkill. It shows that she's genuinely freaked out and not happy with all of the blood and slime on her hands. When she tries to hoist herself out of the mess, it might me signifying that this is the turning point in which there is no point of return and they are, for lack of a better word, screwed.

A very important detail, just for the creepy factor, is to have the maggot crawl over the hand in the roadkill pit. At this point, we do not know what the body is doing there, and it keeps the audience watching.

When Dalton (wearing the red hat) gags/retches, it represents how horrible the smell really must be, which is important to show the intensity of the smell of rotting animal carcasses. It also may give them an estimate as to how long the pit has been there and how often the dead are dumped in it.

#8 - Haikus

I'm am a veggie.
Meat is decomposing flesh.
Why would you eat that?

Cheese is amazing.
Lactose intolerance sucks.
I would really die.

Veggie burgers rock.
They sound really gross, I know.
But cheese makes it awesome.

Also, just for shits and giggles... I didn't write this, but I love it.

Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

#7 Holidays... What a waste of effort.

If I were to create a holiday, I would create a Day of Laziness. It would always be celebrated on a Monday, since no one likes Mondays, and if they do, they're on crack. On this day, you would do only the things that are critical to your existence. For example, eating and going to the bathroom would be mandatory. Moving, talking, going to work, showering, or anything involving the use of your brain is prohibited. This holiday was developed when the pilgrims first arrived in America. They were lazy and needed someone to do their work for them. They used their mighty white powers and killed most of the "Indians." They panicked at their lack of servants and brought over some people from Africa to beat and not feed for their own use. Once the African Americans started realizing they were human beings and started going against The Man, the Americans panicked once again. They then turned to third world countries and Mexicans to do their work. Americans have a history of being lazy, and seem to think that they have supremacy over everyone and everything. Since we're almighty, why not create a holiday to do what we always do? We need a break from our "stressful" lives. We deserve it, right? Yay, America! Oh, beautiful, for spacious skies...

#6 Why do they even make those horrid things?

Sometimes, you'll see a product and ask, "Why do they even make those?" Plastic/acrylic gauges are one of those things to me. They are used for stretching piercings (Stretching - Body Modification, BMEzine: Stretching,) which should always be done with metal, bone, semi-precious stone, or silicone. Plastic harbors bacteria and will deteriorate in your ear during healing. Why do I see almost everyone walking around with plastic gauges? They obviously have no clue what they're doing, especially since they are more popular because "they're pretty." I think these people should be punished by law. The body modification process should not be taken lightly, especially since it will become permanent at a certain point in time. There should also be an interview before such modifications are made. If their reason is that "it's trendy," they should not be allowed to stretch. It is a big part of a community of punk, goth, emo, and, in general, dark people, NOT PREPS. I think the fine for being seen wearing plastic gauges should be $500. It is enough to stop people from doing it, as well as not being a somewhat low fine. On their third offense, the body part which the piercing is that they are stretching (i.e. earlobes) shall be cut off. Body modification should be researched before it is done to an individual. If they do not know how to take care of it, they might as well not do it.

#5 What the frap is that?

This beast is, for lack of a better name, a Bird Frog. It is a cross breed of a bird and a frog. It eats a wide variety of insects, such as grasshoppers and worms. Instead of talons, this creature has frog feet. It can jump like a frog, yet it still has wings and can fly. It has a beak and a long, sticky tongue that can snap out to catch its prey. This amazing creature can also breathe under water. Its water-repellent feathers help it to stay dry in case it needs to fly. It can hop away from predators, or soar away. Predators include snakes and mammals, such as raccoons. These creatures are extremely rare, as their legs are a delicacy in many countries, such as Asia and India. They can also be eaten like a chicken. Though there is little meat on these majestic creatures, it is very rich and succulent.

#4 ROBOTS (for lack of a better title... >_>)

Haven't you ever wanted a maid that was actually smart and spoke English? How about one that had the mind of a computer? Now you can! With US Robotics' NS-5, you will never have to do anything again! All of you Americans will be able to sit on your fat asses eating lard while your intelligent robot that could be put to better use is scrubbing out racing stripes from your tighty-whities. With daily downloads from USR, your robot will be the best it can be and provide you with anything you don't want to do. They can cook, clean, even take out the garbage! Don't want to go to your kid's ballet recital? Send your NS-5 along, and you child will abandon you and make friends with artificial intelligence. Sure to be a hit among negligent parents! Product choices are as shown, only available with gold eyes. The Three Laws are hard-wired into every model for your safety.* The price, ladies and gentlemen? Only five easy payments of $250,000 USD. Order now!

*Some may try to kill you, but we're still working on that.