So today, I was like... On the internet. I found a website about me! I was like, "Oh, my God!" So, I called all of my friends and they were like, "Cool!" and I was like, "I know!" I know I'm like, so hot though. Everyone loves me. How could you not love me? I'm so hot. Some people say that my lazy eye distracts people from my beauty, but I've learned to embrace it. Lazy eyes are sexy! Oh my God, there was this list of guys that I've dated on the website. Not like, date on the website, because that would be dumb. I dated them on Earth. The list was on the website. On the internet. The internet is cool! Anyway, it says that I dated Oscar De La Hoya. Who is that? Was I drunk? Was I high? Maybe I was both drunk and high. I have to be both most of the time so I'm not focused on being hungry. I don't want to weigh like a bajillion pounds. Oh, before I forget, the paparazzi took a picture of me with a sign I made for the website. I look so hot! Does the paparazzi give out pizza? Are they like, with Papa Johns? If they are, I'd eat some pizza and puke it up later. Puking is fun. I'm going to go paint Tinkerbell's claws now. You know you guys love me!
-Paris XOXO
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Look, a bunny! He's so cute! Hahahahahaha!!!
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Look, a bunny! He's so cute! Hahahahahaha!!!
2 comments:
Is there ever a time when you're not drunk and high? Even if you weren't drunk and high you still probably wouldn't remember who you've dated, because that tiny brain in your big head is filled with nothing but thoughts about rat dogs, shopping, or "I'm so hot!" Oh and it's not the lazy eye that distracts people from your beauty, it's your fake tan, fried hair, unintelligant remarks and too thin body. Oh and I don't know of one person who loves you. The only accomplishment you have had in your life was being born into a rich family; if it wasn't for that you could probably be normal and sane. So maybe being born into a rich family was the worst thing that happened to you. Either way you are just a Hollywood airhead brought up in the spotlight that has caused even more destruction to this world.
You need help. Serious, serious help. You need to go to rehab as well as get help for your eating disorders. You don't even deserve to be called a celebrity. The only reason you're famous is because your daddy has money. Then one day you just came out of nowhere with your, "That's hot." You're a vulgar woman who needs help as much as a real personality.
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